OyChicago blog

Let's be honest: I'm honestly not honest when it comes to my New Year's resolutions. Honestly. So this year I thought I'd set a few resolutions that are truly more obtainable. (I might have done something like this last year. But let's be realistic, if you don't click the link that's right here, you'll never know for sure. Will you?) 

In point of fact, this started out as resolutions that I could genuinely obtain. Also in point of fact, I meant for these to be reliable, just and true. Finally, in point of fact, some of these are very silly. Wow. Fact is up to three points. Swish. So enjoy my list of this year's 18 honest New Year's resolutions. I honestly don't think they'll stay that honest but one can only hope. In point of fact, once you have two or more, there's a lot more you can do than hope. Four points.

1. Brush my teeth at least twice a day so I don't have to lie to the dentist.

2. Start going to the dentist.

3. Start putting my pants on like everyone else. One leg at a time. Because trying to literally jumpstart my day is getting painful.

4. Start buying proper groceries because blocks of Philadelphia cream cheese and Flamin' Hot Fritos just ain't cutting it anymore.

5. Instead of just going by Adam Daniel Miller, start going by my full name: Adamantium Daniel Day Lewis Miller High Life. For posterity.

6. Eat less. Of what, I have yet to determine. I'll let you know later. It's not going to be Spaghettio's though. I should always eat more Spaghettio's.

7. Clean my dishes faster than 'the next time I need to use that dish.'

8. Pay my bills on time because having three separate guys named Bill simultaneously coming after me is getting ridiculous.

9. Enjoy life more. It's a fantastic cereal.

10. Be less lazy. Or as my girlfriend would say, "stop taking a cab to the bus stop."

11. Explain to more people that it is impossible to have a 'first world problem' because we do not live on Mercury.

12. Count my blessings. But only the ones I say to people after they sneeze.

13. Quit smoking in my apartment. I'm getting sick of the salmon smell.  

14. Enjoy life more. It's a fantastic board game.

15. Try and be less indecisive. Not sure if I'll follow through with this one.

16. Work on my drinking problem. Yes, this one.

17. Support more local Mom and Pop stores. Those creepy Aunt and Uncle stores are too expensive.

18. Be more honest, even if I'm lying to myself.

If the last few days have taught us anything, it’s that Chicagoans love to talk about, complain about and post pictures about – the weather. And sometimes, as the last few days have shown us, we overdo it.

I get it. We can all relate to weather. It is our greatest commonality. Two people who might loathe everything about each other at least have the weather in common. When it rains or snows or the dang sun just won’t come out, we all know what that’s like and how it makes us feel. And I recognize that in the digital era, that means posting and Tweeting about the weather. That’s our reality.

All that said, Chicago, we had a little too much fun with the cold weather drama Monday and Tuesday, and none of us had anything better to do for two days than consume it. Therefore, friends, let’s take a step back and recognize some of the redundant and pointless ways we used social media during the “polar vortex.”

1. “Chiberia”

Chicago Now

Today, it seems like we have to label everything with the snazziest noun, like how every scandal has to end in “gate.” So it’s tempting to use terms like “Chiberia” when the media presents them to us. I definitely applaud the pun-ster(s) who coined Chiberia, as I got a chuckle out of seeing it for the first time, and okay – the second time too. But it was a useful hashtag, not a new entry in the dictionary. Chiberia had its moment in the (completely ineffective) sun – let’s all move on. You know what the temperature is like in Siberia now? The negative 40s. The Russians, they laugh at us.

2. The bundled-up selfie

The fact that it was cold and we wore hats, scarves, jackets and winter goggles is a matter of personal safety, not so much public interest. I’ll assume everyone just wanted their grandmother in Florida to know they were dressing warmly, though if she is even on social media, she probably left a comment saying to go inside or you’ll freeze to death.

3. Pictures/screenshots of the temperature

Behold, the only phone in the world that knows the external temperature! Stifle your jealousy!

Can someone explain this one to me? I suppose as long as these screenshots kept one person from walking outside in shorts on Monday, it was worthwhile.

4. Anything from anyone on vacation/not enduring the cold

Thanks for letting us know how not miserable your weather is, and that you sympathize with the rest of us, but let us commiserate about the weather in peace! Go enjoy the fact that you can have exposed skin outside for longer than 20 minutes. And we will try not to snicker at your being “stuck” in Florida or California because your flight was canceled.

5. Videos of people throwing boiling water outside

Those of you who got away with doing this and didn’t end up in the hospital with severe burns, I hope by now you’ve recognized that as fun as it was, it was definitely a mistake. I’ll bet not even the scientist who discovered/named evaporation would’ve condoned your decision to “make science.” However, this video of a water gun loaded with boiling water shot in Canada is awesome. Maybe not 3.8-million YouTube views awesome, but at least it was creative.

If this was too much Cynical Steven for you, check out fellow Oy! blogger Lia’s sunny spin: The top seven positive to come out of negative temperatures.

Ever walk by the fish counter and see the whole fish sitting there in the case and wonder what do you do with that? Wish you could pull off a big “ta-dah?” Like Indian flavors and tired of going out for them?

This dish is for you!

A big beautiful whole snapper lovingly sauced with homemade curry and comforting luscious coconut rice. Yay! You can do it!

This heart-warming delicious dish is perfect with all of the toasty spices and satisfying creamy rice. Do not fear the whole fish. Once the fish monger (dude) has cleaned the fish, all you need to do is take it home, cover it with amazing curry, roast, serve and stand by for compliments.

HUZZAH! Pat yourself on the back, you kitchen wizard you.

Whole Snapper with Coconut Curry Sauce

Curry Aromatics

3 cups diced onions
4 large cloves garlic
2 tablespoons freshly grated ginger
1 4-inch piece lemongrass (soft inner core only)
1 tablespoon of fresh turmeric or 1 teaspoon dried
2 serrano chilies, stemmed and seeded
1 cup chopped cilantro stems
1 teaspoon garam masala
½ teaspoon cumin
½ teaspoon ground coriander
3 tablespoons vinegar
3 tablespoons coconut oil or olive oil

For the sauce

2 cups tomato puree
½ can coconut milk
3 tablespoons brown sugar
1 red pepper, cut into julienne and sautéed
Salt and pepper
1 whole 2 ½-3 pound red snapper or favorite fish or 6, 6-ounce filets
Garnish: lemon and lime wedges

1. Pulse all the above ingredients in a food processor or blender. Heat a large saucepan over medium heat. Add the coconut oil or olive oil and add the aromatics. Cook the aromatics, stirring occasionally, until they are golden brown and very fragrant (about 15 minutes).

2. Then add the remaining ingredients and reduce the heat to a simmer. Simmer the sauce for 15 minutes to allow the flavors to meld. Taste and adjust with salt, pepper or sugar. The sauce can be made up to 3 days ahead of serving and can be stored, covered, in the refrigerator.

3. Line a baking dish or large pan with sides with parchment paper. Place the fish in the pan and spoon ½ of the sauce over the fish.

4. Roast the fish, covered, for 10 minutes, then uncover and return the fish to oven for another 10 minutes or until the flesh feels firm when lightly pressed.

5. Serve with coconut rice.

Coconut Basmati Rice

1 cup basmati rice
1 cup coconut milk
1 cup water
½ teaspoon kosher salt
¼ teaspoon freshly cracked pepper
¼ cup toasted sliced almonds
2 tablespoons chopped cilantro

1. Place the rice, coconut milk, water and salt and pepper in a pan with a tightly fitting lid.

2. Simmer over medium hat until the rice is cooked through or use a rice cooker.

3. Toss the rice with almonds and cilantro. Serve with the fish.

“Looking back, what do you regret?”

That was the central question of George Saunders’ commencement speech to graduates of Syracuse University, which I was recently directed to through an article in The New York Times. After listing a few things that might be regrettable in his past, Saunders remembered the way several of his classmates in 7th grade dealt with a new girl in their school and neighborhood. He says that they, “mostly ignored and occasionally teased” this girl. Then, at some point, the girl and her family moved out of the neighborhood and life went on.

Saunders then remarked, according to the article:

Now, why do I regret that? Why, forty-two years later, am I still thinking about it? Relative to most of the other kids, I was actually pretty nice to her. I never said an unkind word to her. In fact, I sometimes even (mildly) defended her.

But still. It bothers me.

So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it:

What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness.

Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded…sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.

Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope: Who, in your life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth? Those who were kindest to you, I bet.

Ok, I get the point: kindness rules and apathy drools. I am no stranger to kindness and/or the Hebrew version, chesed. It is one of the calling cards of our religion (and kindness is actually one of the three things that the world rests upon according to the Talmud). Until I read what Saunders wrote about the missed opportunities as “failures of kindness,” however, I never really gave the idea much thought. As I think about it now, I am usually so concerned with doing an act of kindness that I become blind to other opportunities.

I think there are two types of kindness: global kindness and local kindness.

Getting involved with a national or international cause is an amazing thing. Donating to a relief fund is something that is a very tangible way to help others. To be involved in a cause connected to any charity or organization is a wonderful way to give something of yourself and expand your heart. These are examples of global kindness. We often gravitate to them simply because we repeatedly hear about them and the cause resonated with us.

Then, there’s the local kindness. This type of kindness isn’t always publicly broadcasted. It could be giving some spare change to someone in need or volunteering to tutor a kid who needs help in school. It could be opening the door for a stranger, greeting someone, or even asking a friend how they are doing. These are the “easy” acts of local kindness. Easy, I say, because it’s sort of a one-time act or kindness to a stranger. Odds are that you will rarely ever see that person again.

This kindness can be more difficult because it involves interacting with family and friends. Being patient with a cashier at the grocery store can be easy; choosing to be patient with someone in your family can be hard. It requires us to be mindful of our relationships and how we act around those that matter most to us.

For me, my “failures of kindness” consist of a global and a local failure. I feel fortunate to live in a Jewish community (West Rogers Park) that is full of kindness. However, it’s very easy for me to forget that there are many other neighborhoods and communities in the greater Chicago area, as well. So, I need to find something “global” that can connect me to the greater community and show me the “bigger” picture. Simply put, I need to call the JUF. I am sure I can find something from helping at a food bank to tutoring. Locally, I will focus on my wife and three kids. There are times when I catch myself pointing out the negative things people in my family do. I’m not proud of it, but it does happen. For the past three weeks I have consciously been very careful to point out the positive things that my kids do – and we are all the better for it.

In the liner notes for the last studio album from punk rockers Hüsker Dü, there’s a quote I find particular meaningful: “Revolution begins at home, most preferably at the bathroom mirror.” That sort of says it all, for me. If you want to change and not have failure of kindness, but don’t know where to do start, then check the mirror.

Last year, I opened up my Kindle to you, sharing the best of the many books I had consumed through the Kindle app on my iPhone while trying to pass those miserable moments riding/balancing on the El during rush hour. This year, in addition to racking up tons and tons of train miles, (there should be some kind of rewards program for that, don't you think?) I also did lots of traveling and thus lots of reading. So since it's the time of year when we start to think about what's on our reading lists for the year ahead, what better time to talk about some good ol' books?

Much like last year, not all of these books came out in 2013 and they aren't necessarily the best books of the year—though some of them will likely make those lists. And this won't be nearly as comprehensive or cool as NPR's Book Concierge that came out last month, but I digress. So without further explanation, here is a sampling of what's on my Kindle from 2013:

The Divergent Trilogy by Veronica Roth
At one of the many Jewish professional conferences I attended this year, one of the icebreaker activities was to introduce yourself by sharing what book was on your nightstand. As I was in a room filled with distinguished academics, best-selling authors, entrepreneurs and other generally awesome people, you can imagine that the caliber of books being read was quite high. At the time, I was reading Divergent, the first in the popular young adult trilogy about dystopian Chicago. Luckily, someone else in the group was also reading the trilogy at the recommendation of her 13-year-old daughter, so I wasn't alone. Young adult fiction or not, I flew through this book and the next two in the series, Insurgent and Allegiant, all pretty good reads, though Divergent was my favorite. If you liked The Hunger Games, I recommend checking this series out as well before the movie comes out in March.

Rick Steves' Berlin, Rick Steves' Vienna, Salzburg and Tirol, and Rick Steves' Prague and the Czech Republic
As I mentioned, I did a lot of traveling this year—including one amazing trip to Europe with my husband, Mike. You can read his account of our trip here. Rick Steves is a really great tour guide and I spent many hours agonizing over his books before our trip and consulting them while overseas. He was as helpful today as he was during my time studying abroad in college and I love how he guides you every step of the way through landmarks making sightseeing feel even more like an adventure.

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
This was one of my favorites back in the day, so when it came up for 99 cents on Kindle one day, I downloaded it for nostalgia's sake. It was still a magical read and had whole new meaning to me reading it now as an adult.

The Time Keeper by Mitch Albom
Mitch Albom's latest work of fiction came out in hardcover in Sept. 2012 but was just released in paperback and on Kindle this October. I love books that deal with time travel or manipulation of time and this story about the first man to ever measure time and how he teaches two people—a young girl and an old man—how to appreciate time is a beautiful and worthwhile read.

The Dogs of Christmas by Bruce Cameron and I Could Chew on This and Other Poems by Dogs byFrancesco Marciuliano
As I wrote last year, ever since my crazy adorable bichon poodle, Bialy, came into my life, I've become obsessed with reading stories about dogs and told from the perspective of dogs. Last year, I read two books by Bruce Cameron, so when I saw he had a new book coming out I downloaded it right away. This one, though it does not have a canine narrator, is another sweet story and a good holiday read. The book of poems is not on my Kindle, but was a Chanukah gift from my parents. If you're a dog person, it's a warm and fuzzy and at times funny read and great coffee table material.

Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns by Lauren Weisberger
This sequel to the classic Devil Wears Prada came out this summer and takes place 10 years after the first book ends. All of Lauren Weisberger's books are fun and have Jewish protagonists. I had the chance to interview Weisberger last month in advance of her January visit to Chicago, so look out for that interview to learn more about Weisberger's strong Jewish identity and how that influences her writing.

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
This book had been sitting on my Kindle unread for some time, but I'm glad I finally decided to start reading. Once I did, I couldn't put it down! I love books about the circus, I think because they are so magical and whimsical and this one has such rich characters.

The Tao of Martha: My Year of LIVING; Or, Why I'm Never Getting All That Glitter Off of the Dog by Jen Lancaster
I've read all of Jen Lancaster's hilarious self-improvement memoirs. With each book, she dedicates herself to a new project for a year—this time living according to the ways of Martha Stewart—and tells her tales of success and failures through her life in suburban Chicago with her husband, dogs and cats. There are always local references in her books, which just add to the fun, and she has a way of making you feel like you're hanging out with your girlfriends as you read.

As we kickoff 2014, my list of unread books on my Kindle is dwindling, so tell me—what did you read this year that you loved? And what's on your 2014 reading list?

Happy reading! 

12/30. The thing is, every year we make resolutions for the New Year. Exercise more, be a better son or daughter, be more spontaneous, etc. etc. And maybe we intend to keep these resolutions, but do we ever? Does anyone ever?

If you keep up your resolution through February consider it an achievement. How many people do you know you who boast about accomplishing their resolution in November? Of course there are some rare exceptions – the middle-aged woman who joins Jenny Craig Jan. 1 and is 25 pounds lighter by the following Jan. 1, or the divorcee who quits his job and travels the world for a year. But of course these are the exceptions ...

I’ve never really kept a resolution. Sure, every year I think there are things I could do better, probably a lot of things I could and should change, but my motivation runs out. So how do you keep yourself motivated to change something in your life this New Year?

12/31. I admit, I thought about it over the past 24 hours and I got nothing. I honestly don’t know how you keep a resolution, whether it is big or small, kind of dumb or really significant. Maybe you just have to want it, and if you don’t want it that bad it won’t end up changing. But that means I’ve never wanted anything that bad, so that can’t be right. Maybe you should stay small and set goals that you know in advance are doable. Remind yourself – write your resolutions down.

Maybe the secret is not making a resolution at all. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. But then again, my New Year’s resolution is to be less cynical.

I needed some inspiration today, so I asked my friend Leah who has been living in Israel for the past year and a half what her New Year’s resolution was, and how she intended to keep it going all year. Her response was to “practice gratitude everyday” even if that that sounds, “super crunchy” because living in Israel has put things in perspective. Now that’s a resolution I thought, and one that she will probably actually follow through with. (My other friends’ resolutions were to send out greeting cards, and to watch less Kathie Lee).

So this New Year, every time I feel myself becoming a cynic I’ll try to remember Leah and her resolution, because if she can keep hers why can’t I keep mine? Enter motivation.